At first glance, it would appear we can break this ad down, as per usual, focusing on each little piece of crazy as it comes, like so:
Red Flag #1: SO specific. SO weird. SO racist. Who knew a list of requirements could raise so many uncomfortable questions? Like:
- Why would you want your bodyguard (i.e. human shield) to be articulate or sweet? Personally, I would want my bodyguard to be silent, and capable of deep cruelty. I MIGHT (might) be OK with a whimsical twinkle in his eye when I made a particularly witty comment, or an occasional pun or bon mot after he dispatched a would-be assassin… but that’s about it.
- What in God’s name do you mean by “dark” black? Should I not bother applying if I am medium-black? What about if I am a chocolatey brown? Cafe Au Lait? What about a rich mahogany?? Maybe a color wheel would help.
Great, let’s get started making fun of the rest of the ad!
Oh.
Red Flag(s) #2 – ∞ : EVERYTHING ELSE.
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