You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.

It's such a fine line between stupid and clever...‘Rock Star’ is perhaps the most abused phrase in the history of job listings. Nobody should be looking for a “rock star” accountant, HR recruiter or janitor. Whoever is posting these jobs is grossly misinformed as to the nature of rock stardom. Or accounting. Or both.

Without checking out the screencap of the job description below, see if you can tell which of the following describes the life and responsibilities of a rock star, and which describes those of a Planet Funk store manager.

Good luck! You’ll need it! I bet you can’t tell the difference! These exclamation points in no way indicate sarcasm! I am simply saying the opposite of what I think! I don’t know what words mean! I think that means I am a rock star!

Which of these qualities belong to a Rock Star, and which to a Planet Funk Store Manager?

  • Wealthy
  • Famous
  • Leads by example and inspires entire team in the 18 steps of the Secrets to Selling Success
  • Lives a life of wanton, consequence-free promiscuity
  • Despite enormous wealth, is endlessly supplied with free, high-quality narcotics
  • Effectively utilizes corporate reports to manage payroll and profit


Click the pic to read the actual job description. Then avoid this job.

Rockstar Job Listings

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7 Responses to You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.

  1. blam says:

    of course, some rock stars do hold side jobs.

  2. Jon says:

    Good points. Though it should read “Whoever is posting these jobs,” not “Whomever.” Subject, meet object, and all that.

  3. AvoidThisJob says:

    Edited! But it’s too bad. “Whomever” sounds so much better. Wrong, but better.

  4. Dan says:

    Is it OK to be a rock star AND a designer? Just not a rockstar designer?

  5. AvoidThisJob says:

    Hmm… excellent question….
    Yes. I’ll allow it.

  6. Eyeteeth says:

    That’s what’s known as “hypercorrection,” in which you make a grammatical error because you’re trying too hard not to make one. It happens a lot with slippery words like “whom” and (perhaps most of all) “I.” I know this because I am a rock star copy editor.
    I just discovered this blog and I love it. Thanks!

  7. HMMMMMM says:

    Some rockstars die of mysterious gardening accidents. Some rockstars (especially drummers) explode while onstage. They forgot to factor that in.

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