$25/hr To Follow My Wife

Stalker AlertI’m sure this situation is healthy, and not all dangerous for anyone involved! What a wonderful opportunity! What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, that’s right, everything you could possibly imagine. And then some more.

Odds are good that someone is getting eventually stabbed and/or shot in this scenario. And if you play your cards right, it just might be you! Common sense (and anyone with a functional self-preservation instinct) would suggest you avoid this job.

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14 Responses to $25/hr To Follow My Wife

  1. Gino says:

    Hahaha! Nice.
    Although, this line bummed me out: “My wife cheated on me and my three children…” If you’re going to sleep with your children, at least be faithful to them.

  2. Kevin Seccia says:

    I WISH HE’D STOP YELLING.

  3. AvoidThisJob says:

    KEVIN, HE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO YELL AFTER EVERYTHING HE HAS BEEN THROUGH. YOU SHOULD BE MORE UNDERSTANDING. TIMES ARE TOUGH EVERYWHERE AND SOMETIMES YELLING IS THE ONLY THING THAT GETS US THROUGH THE DAY.
    You know?

  4. AvoidThisJob says:

    Agreed. Although maybe she “cheated” on her children by having other children with her paramour? Like, she had children on the side?
    This is going into creepy territory.

  5. I kinda want this job. I see what you’re saying about getting shot or stabbed, but $25/hr in this economy might be worth it.

  6. Tami says:

    Anyone else wondering if the wife cheated before 10:00 or after 2:00 before? Or are we to believe that she’s only tempted to do so in that particular four-hour window when she conveniently agreed to be followed?

  7. NatalieMac says:

    Everyone knows that sexy-time is between 10am and 2pm. Why would anyone engage in any kind of sexual activity outside those times?

  8. AvoidThisJob says:

    This is true. In fact, not everyone knows this, but the Starland Vocal Band wrote a follow-up to “Afternoon Delight” entitled “Brunchtime Bonin’ “. I don’t know why it never caught on.

  9. Tami says:

    I stand corrected! I guess now I know I might have been looking for love in the right places, but I’ve definitely been looking at the wrong times!

  10. MattH says:

    “Please send pics of wife. If she’s hot I’ll “follow her”. 🙂

  11. Mike Mag says:

    If she has already agreed to be followed, and it doesn’t matter if you’re seen, why not just carpool?

  12. Chrissy says:

    Oh, well, this is so typical! I feel his pain. I mean, he finally let’s his guard down and loosens the leash a little. He allows her to go out of the house between the hours of 10 and 2 to do the wifely activities of grocery shopping and running errands. How does she repay him? By cheating on him! Sadly, he saw the necessity for having her followed much too late…

  13. Jennifer says:

    I love the idea that she would actually do something shady while she is totally aware of being followed. I once worked at a store that was experiencing an employee theft problem. My boss was sure it wasn’t me stealing so he decided to prove his theory by watching me an entire shift…while sitting next to me. How stupid would you need to be to steal right in front of your boss? Or cheat why being followed by your husband, I suspect some weird sexual game is secretly being played here.

  14. Must have a car and cell phone. That you use to dial health cheats. Stolen or magically-materialized car OK. Must also be willing to help me dispose of “things” if the situation gets messy.

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