You Lost Me At “Leotard”

Have you ever found yourself halfway through a sentence, one that you
were actually in the middle of speaking aloud to friends or colleagues,
and suddenly thought: “Oh dear. Something has gone terribly wrong here.
What have I gotten myself into? What the hell am I talking about? Is
there a graceful way out of the bizarre verbal hole I have dug myself
into?!”

This job listing is the embodiment of that thought.


Already off to a bad start with two of AvoidThisJob’s least favorite words in the title itself. Well, let’s see how the rest of the ad goes. They are looking for an HR person. Let us not forget that most important of facts. HR Recruiter. Repeat it to yourself. HR Recruiter. Now let’s get started.

Um. No? Or… yes? Should I? Did you want me to say yes? Is this a test? Are you asking me if I am a trapeze artist (weird) or if I hallucinate trapeze artists when I’m around mirrors (weirder)?

Deep breath everyone, because this job listing has already gone way off the rails.

Oh, good! Haha, because I, the HR professional who just opened this ad, got extremely confused by your first sentence. You know, the one that asked me point blank if I was a trapeze artist. OK, so you’re not talking about bedazzled leotards, what exactly are you talking about?


Oh, I see. We’re stuck in some sort of tortured circus comparison here. I get it. OK, so you asked about trapeze artists because your office is a “three-ring circus.” Har har. Alright then. Well, that was a bit awkward, but now that we’re done with the odd–

Er… yeah. Fine. Got it. Acrobatics, standing ovation, etc, etc. We’re good on the whole circus thing. I assume it’s all out of your system now? The endless unhelpful comparisons to–

OK, what the hell does that even mean?! Now you’re just embarrassing yourself. Can we move on?

THANK YOU. Finally, some actual inform–

 

Oh my God. Please. Please stop. This is an ad for an HR professional. Not a guru, not a rockstar, and most definitely not a circus performer. What began as a cutesy intro (“This office is like a circus!”) has now devolved into an incomprehensible garbage pile of random circus references. More importantly, although you then finally go on to actually describe the job in the full post, (Click here to see it)any self-respecting job seeker has probably already decided to avoid your particular big top and drive their clown car to a different company.

Trapeze artists: it would be hysterical if you would apply for this job.

HR Recruiters and miscellaneous other non-circus folk: avoid this job.

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