Put Them All In One Basket

What. Is. Going. On.

Put All Your Eggs In One Basket

1) Gross.

2) No.

3) What “references” could you possibly be looking for?


5) Again: No.

6) Is your ideal candidate only “trustworthy” when it comes to eggs and their well-being, or must they be trustworthy overall? Because someone can be trustworthily, preternaturally gentle with eggs, but not necessarily be the guy you’d trust to, say… babysit. Or even to feed your cats while you were on vacation. In fact, the tender, caressing touch that particular guy lavishes upon eggs is kind of what makes him untrustworthy… Look: it’s just weird. Everyone agrees. Sorry to be the one to have to tell you.

7) To reiterate: gross. And no.

Spending two days a week, in the summer, boiling dozens of eggs is bad enough. God forbid you fail to notice one roll under the passenger seat of your car, lodging itself somewhere dank and moist. Do you want your house, car, and person to constantly smell like a baby’s diaper trapped inside a rotting pumpkin? No? Then avoid this job.

All Eggs In One Basket


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5 Responses to Put Them All In One Basket

  1. Emily says:

    Yes, grandmother. Two POUNDS of eggs. I’ll be right t’over.

  2. vanessa says:

    (someone used to laugh like this…)

  3. Propagatrix says:

    Apparently, the successful applicant will be willing to boil eggs that are already hardboiled.

  4. greg says:

    references?… why? their eggs, not diamonds, if you lose a couple of shipments of eggs then get worried, until then.. what?!?!? that’s the worst part, the demandingness <---(not a real word) for a part time skilless job.

  5. baliztik says:

    This must be Miss Edie from the movie Pink Flamingos, who else needs that many eggs?

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