Setting The Bar Too High

Not necessarily a dream job, but mostly OK until the second to last sentence. The ideal candidate is a part-time student with “unprecedented verbal, written and interpersonal communication skills.”

 

Unprecedented! Hmm. Well, that certainly is setting the bar a little high. But perhaps, you say to yourself, the definition of “unprecedented” is more flexible or nuanced than I had previously thought?

Huh. No, it pretty much means exactly what you thought.

  • If someone out there is in possession of “unprecedented written  [writing?] skills”, please avoid this job, and instead, write something. Just a thought. After all, your skills are without precedent. Hey, Shakespeare! You can suck it, old man! You had your five centuries, but there’s a new game in town! And when they finish picking up toner at Office Depot for this job poster, they are totally gonna kick your ass! With words! Much Ado About Something, bee-yotch! All’s Well That Ends With You Gettin’ SCHOOLED!
  • If someone out there is in possession of “unprecedented verbal and interpersonal communication skills”, please avoid this job, and instead immediately start working on a peace accord for the Middle East. 
  • If someone out there is possession of all three, please let us know where You would like Your shrine/temple/monument placed, and if You are going to require human sacrifice on the altar of Your greatness. Oh, and You should probably avoid this job.

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3 Responses to Setting The Bar Too High

  1. Phyllis says:

    And I bet it pays minimum wage too.

  2. Brian says:

    Hahahaha…. best extended joke sequence based off one misused word, the winner is this post.

  3. meagan says:

    Unprecedented hilarity.

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