This is quite possibly the greatest job listing this blog has ever seen. Best enjoyed when read aloud, with a somber and dramatic flair; think James Earl Jones meets your high school drama teacher.
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- The link to not only his Facebook page, but also a barren IMDB page with a single producer’s credit. Job poster: Was this part of a mission to make you seem more like a professional, and less like a creepy weirdo? Because I hate to break it to you, sir, but… MISSION FAILED.
- The insistence that it is the dog who is demanding a “very cute and sexy girl.” Again, is this an attempt to seem less gross? Do you think that anthropomorphizing your Pomeranian into some sort of flirtatious Lothario makes you seem less scary? Because it does not. At all.
- Any Pomeranian that is being walked for three hours straight is going to disintegrate. Its tiny legs will collapse in on themselves, crumbling to dust like mummy bones.
Nobody in their right mind is going to pay someone $90/day just to walk their miniature dog. Which leaves us with the possibility that this man is not, in fact, in his right mind. Or perhaps that this job requires more than described. Or most likely, some horrifying combination of the two.
What do you think happened to the “last girl?” The one who was leaving Rocky in the car? Maybe “Rocky” got very upset with her. “Rocky” told her she was a bad girl. Very bad girl. You don’t want to see “Rocky” lose his temper…
Don’t be an idiot. Avoid this job.