Recent Hogwarts Grads Only

At long last.

 

Finally! A wizard position has opened up! And just like those combo Taco Bell/Pizza Huts, like chocolate/peanut butter, someone has realized that nothing goes together like HTML/sorcery.

You know how sometimes you’ll find developers, but they have, like, ZERO ability to cast spells? So annoying! And then you’ll find a really skilled magic user, but they’re all, “I can turn you to stone but I have no idea how to operate a remote server.” It’s like, WTF, Merlin! Stop combing your magnificent white beard and spend some time learning Drupal already. Get it together. Your facial hair is silky enough! Stop obsessing!

You’re looking for someone who “technically can do anything and everything.” Got it. Well, it’s good to know you aren’t setting the bar too high! So far, I understand that this job requires magical abilities, and omnipotence. I am sure that I am in no way misinterpreting that. Any other actual details?

 

Hmm. A surprising lack of focus on the spell-casting aspects of this job. Also, it kinda seems like you are actually looking for someone who can do a few specific, computer-related things, not, in fact, someone who “technically can do anything,” i.e. raise the dead and control the elements…

All-powerful developers should have at it, but any self-respecting wizard should probably avoid this job.

Wizard Mickey

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6 Responses to Recent Hogwarts Grads Only

  1. S says:

    Sadly, about 80% of web development posts on Craiglist read like this one!

  2. MOMO says:

    You wrote an entire page making fun of an otherwise unremarkable IT guy posting because of the use of the word “wizard”? Methinks someone has been slacking off in the laughable job ad hunt.

  3. AvoidThisJob says:

    It is true! So many nightmarish IT ads, especially these days. And if they had dropped the final backslash in the subject line, I would have left it alone. They obviously meant they wanted a “tech wizard.” But that backslash made it look like they were looking for a Developer SLASH Tech SLASH Wizard. And that is what makes it chuckle-worthy. And ATJ worthy!

  4. Dasha says:

    Hmm. I think I see in the ad where wizardry is required. “Creation of users” – out of thin air, perhaps. Or possibly from a handful of dust.

  5. Kevin says:

    I once knew a man who could track an Apache and kill pythons but he was an IDIOT when it came to PostgreSQL 8…

  6. Just read a job description that calls for a “mystical visual wizard” that is “cool and humble, not a frenemy or a serial killer”. That is way too much to ask for.

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