Knight In Shining Armor

Many thanks to AvoidThisJob reader Aubriane for submitting this creepy find!

Well, hello Prince Charming! What a chivalrous hero! Helping ladies who “need rescued” is a dying art, so it’s good to know there are still some gentlemen out there, looking out for those who are “down on their luck.” Sure, like all charitable people/institutions, you have a age/weight restriction, but so what? It’s like that plaque on the Statue of Liberty says: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free… (P.S. NO FATTIES)”

Now… this “private” bedroom you have available…are the secret cameras you hid in the air ducts, under the toilet seat and behind the bathroom mirror going to be recording ALL the time, or are they motion-sensitive? Just curious. Thanks!

Highlight:

  • “I am willing to trade…” What a weird way to put that. As if the people of the Internet were approaching you, asking you for a room. We are not.

Slim ladies: let’s think about this for a moment. How much could the rent on one room be worth? This guy is looking to hire a live-in housekeeper, cook and (if the chemistry is right!) sex slave for less than $20/day.  It doesn’t matter how down on your luck you are, there is always farther down to go. Like, say, DOWN INTO THE LAIR OF A SERIAL KILLER. Then you will really Need Rescued.

Please. Avoid this “job”.

Craigslist Ad

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This entry was posted in Creepy Photo Requirement, Danger, How Lovely To Be A Woman, Slave Wages. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Knight In Shining Armor

  1. Emily says:

    One of the most stunning elements of this posting: How he is concerned about someone being a “bot”. What’s that? I’m assuming robot? but I just googled that and no one calls it that. And also, wait, why would he be concerned if people were robots? Is that an issue? But then right after that, he voices an even MORE insane concern: that someone contacting him might be a “dating agency”. What? I can’t even comment on that, I just….
    HOW could that EVER be something he could think could happen?

  2. AvoidThisJob says:

    Bots I get because people do use them to scrape online job posts, craigslist, etc for email addresses so they can spam you. Dating agency is ridiculous, though, especially if it is a euphemism for “escort service,” because that plus a maid is PRECISELY what he needs.

  3. Emily says:

    I’m sorry, a bot wrote that first post. I’m Emily, and DUH I know what a scraping bot is. They’re for scraping!

  4. Sarah says:

    I got an email like that in response to a “housing wanted” ad I posted.It was much, much worse. The live in situation was in the guy’s living room. I would have had to cook, clean and endure him smoking inside the house.

  5. Chrissy says:

    Omg! I so need rescued! This is perfect. I must have an extra private room, too. Regular privacy just wont do. Hmm… hope it’s not in the basement though. Being in the basement would just make this whole thing a little too weird. Although, I love doing the housework and cleaning for my roommates. Well, I love doing it for strangers in general, really. I wonder if the weight requirement is because he already has one of those neat french maid costumes all ready for me to put on. I should tell him that I already have my own because I’ve been waiting for just this kind of opportunity to come along forever! I wonder if I should send the photos of me in the costume when I reply? Oh, my hero has come along!

  6. Caroline says:

    I really love “please no over weight women” — like he’s trying to be super polite about it.
    “Hmm, how should I phrase this? I don’t want a fatty as my personal maid & sex slave, but, I don’t want them to feel BAD about it…”

  7. Danielle says:

    I need rescued from this knight too! And I am glad no lease or deposit is required, because since we are trading labor for rent (and no money is involved), I am not sure what kind of deposit I would make…except maybe giving him a lease on my sumptuous ass; though, if he and I are going to be roomies, I should be honest, I am not sure my ass is worth much after all the carbs. I cut to land this deal.

  8. ScottMcW says:

    What’s extra awesome is that bots NEVER use leet-speak and always use correct Merriam-Webster approved spelling. Really, his plan is foolproof!

  9. aubriane says:

    It looks like either the first applicant didn’t work out, or the ad is (SO SURPRISINGLY) not garnering any interest. The same ad was posted again on 2/22.
    http://saltlakecity.craigslist.org/roo/1612285383.html

  10. Kristin says:

    Coincidence?
    ” A Wisconsin woman looking for New York City housing on Craigslist made an agreement with a 45-year-old man living in Brooklyn: She’d cook and clean in exchange for free rent. But when she arrived this month, she told police, she was handcuffed to a radiator and made to be the man’s sex slave for eight days, acknowledging she left the apartment at least once and returned.”
    http://www.twincities.com/allheadlines/ci_17395032

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