BUT YOU FORGOT TO GIVE US A WAY TO CONTACT YOU!!!!!!!!???
- Hey, guys, you don’t need to make the word “job” into an awkward, grammatically incorrect acronym about making money. It already has that meaning, all by itself. Like words do.
- The final sentence, “First come, first…” Um. Hello? Did you just fall asleep on your keyboard? First come first… what? Those ellipses make an otherwise mundane phrase look distinctly ominous, like the tagline to a B-horror movie (Permanent Employment: The Movie – “First come, first… DIE”)
- “For the right persons (we have a few openings), this is the ideal situation. We are looking for the right person who can qualify for the positions we are filling.” What a charming Möbius strip of a paragraph! Reading it leaves you dizzy, vaguely nauseated, and exactly where you started. FACT: each re-reading lowers your IQ by 1 point. Permanently.
- “Can you Qualify? Really?” a) Qualify for WHAT? The Boston Marathon? Food Stamps? A home loan? You never said. b) Shut up. c) Yes.
- You are owned by “old-fashioned” people, who will only do in-person interviews? That’s odd, because the ad itself, one quarter of which was simply a phone number repeated ad infinitum, reads like it was composed by a well-trained monkey with severe OCD. Or a semi-sentient spambot with limited English and an attitude problem.
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