There’s a lot to love about this modern age: refrigerators, antibiotics, indoor plumbing, the joys of basic cable, Quarter Pounders with Cheese… I mean, sure, we’re all undoubtedly hurtling towards some sort of massive, man-made apocalypse, careening into the black maw of human extinction… but we’ve sure made our ride nice n’ comfy!
And one of the comfiest aspects of our society? Even average joes can pay someone to do just about anything they don’t want to do themselves. We pay people to mow our lawns, watch our kids, deliver bags of pre-cooked food directly to our doorstep… There’s basically no job too personal/big/small/gross to be outsourced. Or is there…?
1) Is it possible you could have written this ad without using the phrase “pubic hair” in almost every sentence (and TWICE in the subject line?) We got it. We can’t un-get it. It is pressed into our brain, like a male sex symbol is apparently pressed into the silken locks around your genital area.
2) “Should have experience cutting cool designs into hair…” Hmm. What if I only have experience cutting UNcool designs into hair? Such as the Microsoft logo, or a 20-sided die?
3) The knowledge that anyone on the planet has EVER “permed [or] pressed” their pubic hair is deeply upsetting. Let alone that anyone has done it enough to actually amass “experience”. And the mental images it creates? Horrifying. Visions of people with weirdly straight, long, Merlin-style beards flowing from their crotches. Or, alternately, people who look like they stapled a Weird Al wig to their nethers. Either way: NO THANK YOU.
Avoid this job.
(thanks to ATJ reader going by the nom de plume, “Pubella” for the submission)