You, Sir, Are No Gentleman

It sure seems like the word “gentleman” is getting thrown around a lot these days. Originally used to describe landed men of impeccable breeding, background and manners, it morphed slowly into a description of any considerate, kind, male-gendered person. To which we say, huzzah!

However, in a most astounding turnabout, the word “gentleman” has someone now become (at least in America) a word primarily used in the description of airport-adjacent strip clubs. Um. Huzzah? Sure, in the 20th century you got the vote, ladies, but they got the word “gentleman” and attached it to The Landing Strip, just off Route 17. So maybe let’s call it a draw.

Hey, and speaking of gentlemen…!

Not a gentleman

1) Gross.

2) Just because you are bald and/or fat and/or old does not make you “mature”. Proof positive? THIS AD. Grow up, learn to spell, and stop posting racist, sexist job “opportunities” on craigslist… maybe then we will give you your maturity card; it’s carved from the shattered bones of the aged! Enjoy!

3) “You need to be drama free and willing.” Um. Erm. So… WILLING TO DO WHAT? Jesus christ… did you have a stroke in the middle of that sentence, rendering you incapable of completing it? I’ve heard that can happen when you are super “mature”. Unfortunately, in the context of your ad, it’s impossible to think of a UNcreepy way that sentence could be finished. It’s like a sickening Mad Lib, where every solution involves indentured servitude and inappropriate sexual advances.

4) What, on God’s green earth, would make you think that you are a gentleman? Seriously. Is it the fact that you are willing to consider letting your slender, dark-skinned, willing “housekeeper” (ahem) have children? OH, BRAVO, MY GOOD MAN! You’re a real peach.

Non-caucasion, childless, slim, willing women without a self-preservation instinct or a shred of personal dignity… I suppose you are free to go for it. Enjoy the “secret room” in the basement where he wants you to do most of your “housekeeping.”

Everyone else: keep your kids the hell away from this house, and avoid this job.

Buffy Gentlemen

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This entry was posted in Creepy Photo Requirement, Danger, How Lovely To Be A Woman, The Kids Are Not Alright. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to You, Sir, Are No Gentleman

  1. Fanboy Wife says:

    That is extremely creepy!

  2. Ruth says:

    Found your site today, just browsing through the back issues….wanted to say you get mad props for using a pic of the “Gentlemen” 🙂

  3. felispixelus says:

    there is totally a club called the Landing Strip about a mile from the airport here. score

  4. Aaron says:

    He offers a stipence? How generous.

  5. katie. says:

    Is a stipence more or less than a sixpence?

  6. Kasey says:

    I literally have goose-bumps this is so creepy. Ugh!!

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