OMG Dream Job!

 

ZOMG YOU GUYS! It has finally happened! A job has been offered!

OMG Lolcat

Now, I’m no mathmagician (that’s what professional math-doers are called right?) but I’d put the statistical probability of finding a job posting INTENDED for job seekers WHO ARE ALSO seeking for employment at about… I dunno… one in a kabillion? That sounds right. Like finding a pearl in an oyster, or a shirt from Forever 21 that doesn’t disintegrate when sunlight hits it.

This job is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to… well, I’m not sure exactly what it is an opportunity to do, but let me be clear: there’s no way it isn’t TOTALLY AWESOME. Did you see the exclamation points in the subject line? Um, yeah: there were five of them. Five. People don’t just throw around exclamation points like that. And on the internet? No way. Not without cause. Not without being able to back it UP. As everyone knows, the internet is all about two things: personal accountability, and responsible punctuation. Duh. Ergo: this job offer is the real deal.

Highlight:

  • The second line, which almost appears to have been written with… an over-the-top Italian accent?

Frankly, the entire ad is a a highlight unto itself: it is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. That said, you should figure out what the job is (suggestions welcome in the comments) and then avoid it.

Mario Brothers Part Time

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11 Responses to OMG Dream Job!

  1. Olivia says:

    Does it really matter what the job is????? You get $300!!!!!

  2. Bryna says:

    Ages vary from 20Y. …Yeah, and to what? Usually if you vary, it’s between SOMETHING, no? Times vary from 9am. That would’ve been a good follow up. :)

  3. Evan says:

    You really got my day started off right. Please accept my sincerest thanks! PLEASE!

  4. karen says:

    The employer is seeking editor, no doubt. ;)

  5. gino says:

    This ad says so much with so little.

  6. AvoidThisJob says:

    But… $300 ONCE? Once a week? Once a month? Once in a blue moon? The timing is important. As is the nature of the work. I hope for all of our sakes that there are many (many) things a $300 paycheck wouldn’t even BEGIN to cover…

  7. Thom says:

    Maybe the job is to be a Job Seeker, professionally, for $300.

  8. Thom says:

    Sorry I meant a TRUE Job Seeker. Fake ass job seekers need not apply.

  9. ethicks says:

    we get it, people are retarded. This website for one is retarded. Pointing out other retarded peoples incongruity can only be that. Retarded. Wow is it me or did i just say retarded a lot? retarded.

  10. Maura Less says:

    I think it’s something overseas!!!!!

  11. id10t says:

    I applied to a job like this once when I was 16 and dumb…. it ended up being a job to sell roses on the streets of LA. I left… Funny thing is that when I tried to walk out the owner of this “business” actually tried to argue with me about how good of an opportunity this was that I was walking away from. POS person if you ask me.