Thanks to Twitter, texting and instant messaging, there has never been a more glorious time for creative abbreviations and shorthand. Though Shakespeare once wrote, “Brevity is the soul of wit,” he could not in his wildest, Midsummeriest dreams have imagined the lengths to which future generations would go.
And Shakespeare, was, like, TOTES awesome. So one might think, yeah! Why waste energy on all those extra letters?! One MIGHT think that, until that fateful night when one MIGHT be walking down a crowded city street with one’s friend and one MIGHT loudly exclaim that one “can’t wait to get some tasty cocktails!” Only one MIGHT not say “cocktails”. One MIGHT, before one realized the outcome, choose to abbreviate that word. One MIGHT never live it down.
Something for one to think about. Not like that, you know… HAPPENED to anyone here. No.
It is, however, a cautionary tale this job poster would have done well to consider.
- The profoundly wrong (on so many levels) way in which “assistant” was abbreviated.
- The jarring juxtaposition of non-stop shorthand/random MySpace-style capitalization with the request for “a bright girl.” Weird hypocrisy. Also, just plain weird. Like a brain was deposited into the poster’s skull, mid-sentence: “u smart??? u got hott azzz? lol u shld apply 4 r jobz! [BRAIN DEPOSIT] What the– oh. Well. Yes. Excuse me, miss? Would you kindly apply for this finance job? Wonderful. I am Laughing Out Loud!”
- The brazen, all-caps insistence on INTERNS ONLY aka SLAVES ONLY aka NO PAY DO YOU UNDERSTAND WE WILL NOT PAY YOU.
- The request for “pix”. Sigh.
If the concept of an unpaid personal ass position sounds appealing to you, I suppose we cannot stop you from applying. Hopefully someone will stop you from procreating. Best of luck.
Everyone else: avoid this job.
(thanks to Jessica for the submission!)