If Only

REGRET. One of mankind’s most powerful emotions.

From the tragic:

Dear Friar Laurence: Wow. I REALLY wish I had waited a little longer to take that poison and follow my lover into her “grave.” Awesome plan, buddy. That worked out great. Regretfully yours, Romeo Montague. 

P.S. I was being sarcastic about that being a great plan. It wasn’t. 

To the mundane:

Dear Amusement Park Corn Dog: Wow. I REALLY wish I had enjoyed you after riding that double-loop, standing roller coaster that travels backwards at 88 miles per hour. Well, live and learn! Regretfully yours, Me.

P.S. I have learned nothing, and will undoubtedly make the same mistake on my next visit.

Somewhere in the middle is the regret that comes to the low-level cubicle worker tasked with finding research group participants on craigslist. An uncomfortable regret born of the knowledge that there was DEFINITELY a better way to phrase this request:

Racist Rice Eater Ad

Ah well. Live and learn! And maybe next time check Urban Dictionary. Because in the meantime, we’re going to have to suggest that people avoid this job.

Corn Dogs The New Taste Sensation

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2 Responses to If Only

  1. Olivia says:

    What the heck does the childrens ages and gender have to do with anything??

  2. Sandy says:

    They’re assuming if you have free time to taste test rice you are the grocery buyer for your family. They probably expect mostly older married wimmins.

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